
(translated into man speak, since kitten speak is part visual)
Balthasar: Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?
Me: I'm here, Balthus, behind the shower curtain. I'm taking a bath.
Balthasar: I'm here, too!
Me: Yes, I can hear you.
Balthasar (jumps onto bathtub ledge): And now you can see me!
Me: Uh, right. Hello.
Balthasar: Wow. That's a lot of water. Can I drink it?
Me: No. That's my bathwater, it's dirty.
Balthasar: It doesn't
look dirty.
Me: Well, I can assure you, it is.
Balthasar: But can I walk along the edge of the tub, so that if I fall in, I'll have to lick my fur and taste the bathwater anyway?
Me: No.
Balthasar: But can I lick the hot part of the faucet?
Me: No! You'll burn your tongue!
Balthasar: But can I play bowling with your shampoo bottles? Look, they float! No, wait, that one didn't. You're right, the water
does look dirty.
Me: No! Stop pestering me! Why can't you be more like your mother, she zooms out of here as soon as she hears the water running. One more trick, and I'm kicking you out.
Balthasar: No, no, I'll be good, I'll be good. I'll play on the floor.
(conspicuous silence)
Balthasar: But can I eat your bodylotion?
Me: What? No! Do you have any idea what it would do to your tummy? That's it, young man...
Balthasar: But can I sleep on your toes while you put your make up on?
Me: N...Yes. Yes, I guess that would be okay.
Balthasar: Okay, then.
Me: Okay.
(sleepy purrs)