Thursday, August 6, 2009

Balthasar and me IV

(Hot day. Balthasar on pouffe in living room, Pims in basket by the door, and me at the computer)

Balthasar: Hey, Tonelady. You smell great!
Me: What? Uh, thank you...
Balthasar: Yeah, the bigger you get and the hotter it gets outside, the better you smell, especially your feet.
Me: Ha. Great. Very funny.
Balthasar: (chagrined) I was being serious. Besides, I didn't get any candy today.
Me: Oh, yes you did, just an hour ago. I may be pregnant, but I'm not totally lost.
Balthasar: But you're so strict! The downstairs neighbour gives his cats as many pieces of candy as they want, you know. Every day.
Me: The downstairs neighbour doesn't have cats, little one.
Balthasar: Yes, he does, lots of kittens like me that like to play. He takes in all cats that come in from the street, too. Especially brave ones that fall out of the sky.
Me: Uhm. If you say so.
Balthasar: Yeah.

(The sound of typing fills the room. Balthasar stretches, while Pims cocks an eye in her basket)

Balthasar: Hey Tonelady?
Me: Mhm?
Balthasar: What does flea-ridden mean?
Me: (not looking up from screen) Hm. That's when someone has lots of fleas in their fur, little things that bite and itch. It's not something you want to be.
Balthasar: But what does usurper mean?
Me: (surprised) Usurper?! Let's see... I think it's someone who has stolen the throne from the rightful ruler, like a king, or a queen.
Balthasar: Then what's a flea-ridden usurper?
Me: (finally looking up) Wait a minute. Where are you getting these words from, little one?
Balthasar: (flattening ears) Nowhere.

(Pims sleeps very soundly in her basket. I stare at her.)

Me: Right, Balthasar, under no circumstances are you to jump off the veranda, okay? The downstairs neighbour does not have cats, he does not take in cats that fall out of the sky, and he does not have any candy. Pims is just joking, and you shouldn't take her seriously. Isn't that so, Pims?
Balthasar: But...
Me: No buts. No jumping, no candy. And no listening to your mother!
Balthasar: (disappointed) Okay, then.

(Pims gets up and leaves the room, tail swishing.)


Li:ne said...

It sure is hard to be the usurper.

But fleas? No way, silky one.

camilla said...

she sure is sublte, Pims...

Heidi said...

YAY. As I've said before, I think "conversations with Balthasar" would be a pretty awesome blog in and of itself.

Have been thinking about you a lot lately -- excited for you and for GameBoy's imminent arrival!

tone almhjell said...

Thanks, sweetie! Yes, me too. Excited, yes. Yes. (But why must labour be a part of the having-a-baby-excitement? Just asking.)

Heidi said...

Well, it doesn't HAVE to be, I guess. But the alternative doesn't sound like much fun, either. Scientists need to work on teleportation -- that seems like the easiest way to go. Just beam him out when he's fully baked!